Love Wrong

I can’t love you wrong if you don’t let me.

Correct me if I’m wrong but Rome wasn’t built in a day.

So like Rome, to stand strong we may fall.

We may stumble, the skies may rumble

But humble love never waivers, it’s favored.

 

I know I can love you right, but not without a fight,

An understanding that my love is difficult, rare and demanding, but all-in-all, it’s withstanding.

I am not perfect. Actually, I am broken by my past

But I am worth it. I come with attitude, sass and a little bit of ass.

But my loyalty to you will never waiver; you’re favored.

What? A Man

It's been a long time since I've posted something for you guys. Needless to say, I experienced a few Lessons in Love during my hiatus. To make a long story short, I am now a mother and very single. It has been a long and heartbreaking process to go from a long-term relationship to being on my own (especially with a young daughter), but I am at the point where I am ready to date again. I have not actively pursued candidates, but I have dabbled in the dating pool once or twice within the past year. What I've realized during that time is that my idea of a "Good Man" has been slightly skewed. I used to think that I knew exactly what I wanted from a man, and any man that fell short of my expectations wasn't for me. There was no way I would settle. Now I'm beginning to question my standards and expectations. After some deep contemplation, I realize my doubt is caused by two factors: reality vs societal expectations. We live in a world where most of us were taught as young ladies not to settle for anything less than a handsome gentleman with a good job, his own car, his own house and hopefully religious beliefs (that was a bonus of course). In reality, the guys that embody that "Good Man" persona in today's society do exist, but they are usually disrespectful jerks who wouldn't know how to treat a woman if someone gave them a step-by-step manual (which do exist BTW). And the the actual good guys usually fall short of society's fabricated list of what a good man should be. Should you "settle" for this guy just because he treats you better than the jerk who has it all? Then there's the Average Joe who has a job, transportation, etc and treats you well, but does not have that physical appeal. Should you go for this guy just because of his potential even though the chemistry may not be there? It's hard to find a man who even has a decent job in this day and age. So should you pass him up just because he doesn't have a car or maybe you aren't physically attracted to him? Ultimately, no one is perfect, so don't write someone off completely. No man will have it all. It's up to you to decide what is truly important to have and sustain a successful relationship. In the end, there is someone for everyone so don't feel like you have to settle if you feel in your heart someone is not right for you. Determine your worth, and be with whoever makes you happy. 

Heart2Heart

The Art of Forgiveness

So everyone has heard the saying "Forgive and Forget". Well to me these two simple words are not so simple; they are much easier said than done. The main issue that may stand in the way of forgiving someone is undoubtedly pride. Admitting to someone that you are wrong means addressing the fact that you have faults, and who wants to be imperfect? Well the fact of the matter is you are imperfect. Everyone makes mistakes, but why dwell on them? Moving on whether it's through forgiveness of permanently moving on from the relationship in dire situations (only you can be the judge of how much you tolerate/accept), can save you a great deal of time, heartache, and tears. Life is to short to dwell on misfortunes, misjudgements, and mistakes, so suck it up and say "I'm sorry", even if it is through clenched teeth.

Heart2Heart

Food For Thought

In my experience, a successful relationship is by far the most complex task to achieve. Many people claim that all you need is love to have a good relationship. These people are either clueless, liars, or sadly mistaken. Relationships, like good food, need several ingredients. I feel like the elements for a happy relationship should consist of the following:

2 Loving Hearts
2 cups of Honesty
2 cups of Trust
1 cup of Passion (2 Cups for a Spicier flavor)
1 1/2 Cups of Quality Time
2 cups of Understanding
1 quart of Unwaivering Commitment
1 1/2 Quarts of Open and Clear Communication
1 Gallon of Faith garnished with Prayer

Preparation Time: A Lifetime
Serving Size: Endless Buffet of Love and Happiness

Change of Heart

So I've said before that a relationship is only worth fighting for if you can't picture yourself without the other person and if the good outweighs the bad. What if that's not the case anymore? When do you let go? How do you let go? It's not as easy as it may seem, especially if it's a long term relationship where you've become so used to having this person around it's hard to imagine them not there. First pray about it, then I suggest being totally and brutally honest with yourself. Ask yourself if you really are still COMPLETELY IN LOVE with them or are you just scared to let go. Do you really still think they're the One and you would sacrifice it all for them? If these answers are yes, do everything in your power to make it work, but if not, in the words of Usher, just let it burn. Then I suggest you be completely honest with that person, even if it hurts.

Heart2Heart

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

How far is too far when it comes to boundaries in a relationship? Is talking to or chillin with a "friend" of the opposite sex on a daily basis proper or even necessary? What about a hug or kiss on the cheek of someone who isn't your girl or dude? It's all a matter of respect and communication. Express your limits. I once heard someone say that if you do something and don't feel comfortable telling your significant other the truth (the WHOLE truth) out of fear that they wouldn't approve of it, then you shouldn't be doing it....Point. Blank. Period. Just keep in mind the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Heart2Heart

The Blame Game

How many arguments have you been in where the only thing that is getting done is finger-pointing? No resolution. No one is actually listening to the other persons problems and concerns. Just people tryna get there own point across. I must admit I am guilty of the aforementioned crime. But really what is the point? The best course of action in this situation is to take a step back and look at your own fault in the situation. I don't mean pressure your bf or gf to examine their issues, but really look at the person in the mirror. They might have been the issue all along.

Heart2Heart