Food For Thought

In my experience, a successful relationship is by far the most complex task to achieve. Many people claim that all you need is love to have a good relationship. These people are either clueless, liars, or sadly mistaken. Relationships, like good food, need several ingredients. I feel like the elements for a happy relationship should consist of the following:

2 Loving Hearts
2 cups of Honesty
2 cups of Trust
1 cup of Passion (2 Cups for a Spicier flavor)
1 1/2 Cups of Quality Time
2 cups of Understanding
1 quart of Unwaivering Commitment
1 1/2 Quarts of Open and Clear Communication
1 Gallon of Faith garnished with Prayer

Preparation Time: A Lifetime
Serving Size: Endless Buffet of Love and Happiness

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

How far is too far when it comes to boundaries in a relationship? Is talking to or chillin with a "friend" of the opposite sex on a daily basis proper or even necessary? What about a hug or kiss on the cheek of someone who isn't your girl or dude? It's all a matter of respect and communication. Express your limits. I once heard someone say that if you do something and don't feel comfortable telling your significant other the truth (the WHOLE truth) out of fear that they wouldn't approve of it, then you shouldn't be doing it....Point. Blank. Period. Just keep in mind the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Heart2Heart

POP QUIZ

What is the most important aspect of a GOOD relationship?....and why?

a) Trust

b) Communication

c) Complete Honesty

d) All of the above

e) None of the above

f) Other _____

To Trust or Not to Trust

Trust is an important aspect in any relationship, but what do you do when the one you love doesn't trust you back? We've all been in the position where we don't trust, or at least have some doubts about some of the actions of, our boyfriend/girlfriend. We've wondered if they are where they say they're gonna be or seen a text from someone of the opposite sex on their phone and wondered if it was something more than just a text....but what happens when the tables are turned? What if your partner is the one questioning you, and you know you have done nothing wrong, disrespectful, or inappropriate? (and I don't mean those cheaters who are in denial)
It's essential to have trust, but for some people it just takes time. If the love you feel for that person is real and strong, then you will wait for him/her...and if he or she feels that same level of love, then trusting you will come in no time, as long as you continue to be COMPLETELY FAITHFUL. Communicate your desire for a life-long commitment to your boo on a regular (and I don't mean try to persuade or convince them of anything because if you're not doing anything wrong, there's no need for that). Just let them know how you feel...but if the feelings aren't mutual, or they aren't returned in the future then you have some decisions to make (of course I say end it, but hey that's just me).
Heart2Heart

Change Comes With Action

While talking 2 my sister one day, we came to a conclusion that most women experience the same
problem at some point in their relationship....trying to get their man to understand the
importance of putting in time. Maybe the fellas can give me a little insight into why it's
like pulling teeth when us women want a little QT with our man. Isn't that how we're
supposed to feel?! I mean be for real, how would you feel if your girlfriend never wanted
to spend any time with you? If that's the case you should be a little concerned. Either she
doesn't like being around you, or she found someone she likes being around more than you....
either way it's a lose-lose situation. All I'm saying is put in the time (and I don't just mean
at the beginning of the relationship) because there is always someone waiting to pick up your
slack. TRUST!

Heart2Heart

What Women Want

While it may seem like most women don't know what they want or that some of us want it all, which is usually true, a lot of us will be satisfied with just a select few qualities in a guy. Though this list may vary slightly depending on the woman you are dating, here are our five most common desires.

A GOOD man should be:

5) UNDERSTANDING- Most men will not always relate to our feelings or get why we do certain things. We will not always hold that against you as long as you accept the fact that we constantly have mood swings and change our minds for no apparent reason. IT'S JUST THE WAY WE ARE! You must also know how to communicate with your girl . Some of us are able to have an argument or disagreement with our man and then immediately talk it out to search for a logical solution. Others need some time to calm down before talking it out. (If this is your girl, don't try to force her to deal with the issue until she's ready or the situation will get a whole lot worse.) Because most women feel that they can do no wrong, even when they are the ones at fault, always be prepared to apologize or get the cold shoulder until she decides to forgive you. A good woman will admit her faults and accept your apology for doing wrong without giving you a hard time.

4) APPRECIATIVE- Every woman, especially those that are married, wants to feel like their man wants and needs them. This is why a lot of us go out of our way to please our men and sometimes put their needs before ours. If guys have ever wondered why their woman practically bent over backwards for them at the beginning of their relationship and now they can't get her to do anything for them, it's because she doesn't feel like you were grateful for her services before, so why would she continue to provide them? If your woman does as much for you as she does for herself then why not let her know that you appreciate it every once in a while? You could easily be one of those neglected boyfriends whose woman doesn't care if he's happy or not. Let her know how thankful you are with flowers or a card or maybe just a text message. Believe it or not IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

3) AFFECTIONATE- WARNING: DO NOT GO OVERBOARD. Everyone has heard the phrase "Less is More". Moderate affection is more than enough. Show your girl a little T.L.C from time to time by cuddling, holding hands, or just giving her a hug or a peck on the cheek. Although these actions may not seem significant, it makes all the difference to us women.

2) CONSIDERATE- There's nothing like a STRAIGHT man that actually cares about a woman's feelings and wants nothing more than to make her happy (don't confuse this with a "YES" man). If you really want to make your woman smile, DO THE LITTLE THINGS! Hold the door open, pull out her chair, and compliment her every once in a while. Most importantly, take notice of your woman's new looks. Though we may not admit it, we buy those new clothes and get that new hairstyle to get attention from our men. SO TAKE NOTICE! Point out her new hair cut or her new earrings. It may be a little old- fashioned, but it's sexy as hell.

1) HONEST- It's not that difficult to figure out that women require THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH when it comes to certain issues. It's possible that your woman may not always take the truth well, but keeping it 100 with her is a lot better than lying. As the saying goes, "The truth always prevails", and it's always better for her to discover it directly from you. Now notice I said tell the truth about "certain issues". If you truly know your woman, you've figured out the things that make her feel self-conscious about herself. For some women it's their height or weight, for others it's big ears or ugly feet. Whatever the case may be, never directly criticize your woman about her weakness even if she asks you to. For example, if your woman has some issues with her gut and she asks you if a certain shirt exposes that issue. Even though you know that the shirt barely covers her stomach and makes her look 5 months pregnant, PLEASE DON'T TELL HER THAT. Try expressing your dislike of the shirt in general, or maybe even suggest an alternative. Your goal is to build your woman up, not make her feel bad about her faults.

Don't get me wrong women expect so much more out of their men, just as men have expectations for women, but so many more attractive qualities stem from these characteristics. With consideration comes respect, with honesty comes trust, and with all these comes LOVE, which is what makes life worthwhile. Now no one is perfect and, even though it may seem like it sometimes, we don't expect you to be. But if you keep these 5 virtues in mind, your relationship will be a lot better off.