Just Right

So we've all heard the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. Goldilocks pretty much breaks in to the bears’ home, eats their food, sits in their chairs, makes herself comfortable in their beds, and tears stuff up in the process. All of this is irrelevant, except for her selection process. She tries all three options (mother’s, father’s, and baby’s) in each category until she finds the one that is “just right” for her. This is a great example of how to approach your relationship. As a woman I am the first to say that we can be difficult, and it may be a little hard to figure out exactly what we want. As a REAL woman I will also say that you may never truly figure this out because what we want changes constantly. Not saying that we will always want something new or out of the norm, but we are emotional creatures and our wants/actions are tied to our emotions. For example, I am the least affectionate in my relationship (believe it or not), but sometimes I get an urge to be extremely affectionate. This may be a little confusing to my boyfriend because he now has to figure out when to be more or less affectionate with me. The key is to 1. Ask or 2. Learn to read your mate. Luckily, my boyfriend has learned me enough to recognize my moods, so he can judge his actions. It may also be helpful and a lot less difficult if we, as women, just tell our men what we want. Yes I know we expect them to figure it out the majority of the time, because that’s how it should be, right?...WRONG. We can sometimes get in the habit of having these high, sometimes unrealistic, expectations of men to test them and their love and commitment towards us. This just complicates things more, and some men are just not good at taking hints. Before we can test a man, let’s first make sure we give him the tools to pass. Now men, once we give you this study guide of expectations please try your hardest to accept it and retain it. Don’t do more than we expect (over-do it), less than we want (slack), and don’t stray away from our desires because you don’t agree with how we want to be treated. We need a good balance of actions, emotions, etc...not too much, not too little, but just right. The key to a successful relationship is to love people how they want to be loved, not how you want to love them. I know for a fact this can be difficult, but it's a small price if your goal is to be with that person and make them happy.Heart2Heart

Know Your Role

It's been a minute since my last post. Long story short, I'm in a relationship now (YAY me lol). Along with a new relationship comes constant communication with your boyfriend/girlfriend, aka learning one another and figuring out likes and dislikes. One thing I wanted to clarify with my boyfriend is his opinion on gender roles. I actually conversed with a few people on the topic. Surprisingly, people don't really adopt the old school idea that  men should be the sole bread winners and women are delagated to the home and children. Maybe it's our changing times, or maybe people or finally deciding to be realistic. A relationship should be a partnership. It makes much more sense to work with your partner and pick up the slack in whichever area they may be lacking. I believe that it takes two to be financially stable in this economy, AND it also takes two (possibly more) to properly raise our children and take care of our households. I have no problem cooking and cleaning, but I will also take out the trash or mow the lawn if need be. Luckily, my amazing boyfriend agrees that there is nothing wrong with a mam performing "domestic duties" (deemed so by traditional societies). My theory is that whoever is best at a task and enjoys doing it more should do it. If I prefer putting up a shelf more than cooking (which I do), then there is no reason I should be assigned to the latter just because it's more "womanly". Basically, a relationship's roles should be based on what works for the people in that relationship. Just remember to contribute something, be considerate and know your role. ✌🏽️

Heart2Heart

POP QUIZ

What is the most important aspect of a GOOD relationship?....and why?

a) Trust

b) Communication

c) Complete Honesty

d) All of the above

e) None of the above

f) Other _____