Change Comes With Action

While talking 2 my sister one day, we came to a conclusion that most women experience the same
problem at some point in their relationship....trying to get their man to understand the
importance of putting in time. Maybe the fellas can give me a little insight into why it's
like pulling teeth when us women want a little QT with our man. Isn't that how we're
supposed to feel?! I mean be for real, how would you feel if your girlfriend never wanted
to spend any time with you? If that's the case you should be a little concerned. Either she
doesn't like being around you, or she found someone she likes being around more than you....
either way it's a lose-lose situation. All I'm saying is put in the time (and I don't just mean
at the beginning of the relationship) because there is always someone waiting to pick up your
slack. TRUST!

Heart2Heart

You Talk a Good Game...Can You Back it Up?

For those of you who don't know me one of my favorite quotes is "ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS". Now most people have heard this at some point in their lives, and even if you haven't it's not that hard to figure out what it means. Basically you should SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. Now I understand that sometimes things happen that prevent you from sticking to your word, but this shouldn't be a constant occurrence. Nothing pisses me off more than when someone tells me they're going to do something over and over again, and then they never do it. Eventually people stop believing in you! I would rather someone just do something (preferably without being asked first) and not tell me than to tell me and not do it. Like I said, sometimes things come up unexpectedly. This can be solved by simply letting the person know the situation AS SOON AS YOU KNOW YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU SAID....not 2 or 3 hours later when the person is waiting for you. No need to beat around the bush either. You wouldn't want to be the one waiting for that long, so why make others?! And for those who keep feeding their woman/man lies about changing and bettering themselves, only when your woman/man is threatening to leave or creep, then go back to doing the same thing less than 2 weeks later...THAT'S A BUNCH OF B.S. MAN UP OR MOVE ON!! Because when it's all said and done and they finally get fed up, YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY. Don't be stupid! You know, whether you want to admit it or not, if the person you love is truly capable of changing for the better. It's up to you to accept them as they are, or leave them alone....BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, CUZ THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE IN THE END.

Heart2Heart

Romance the Stone

So it's almost that time! The one day of the year, besides their anniversary, that women feel they deserve some form of romance (even aside from their birthday)....VALENTINE'S DAY As I've mentioned before, it seems as though these days romance is out the window. People, especially men, feel as though their too busy, too tired, or too broke to even make an effort. They expect women to understand these circumstances, except them, and move on. Well fellas that's NOT HOW IT WORKS. Most men work their asses off during the process of GETTING a woman, (opening doors, constantly calling, taking her out, basically doing anything to impress her) but they fail to realize that you have to work twice as hard to KEEP a woman and have a GOOD relationship. Just because you have been together for over three years does not mean you stop catering to your woman. Keeping the romantic aspect of a relationship up to par is sometimes what keeps couples together. Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to show your girl how much love you have for her. Don't get it twisted you don't have to spend a dime to give your woman a memorable evening...just PUT IN A LITTLE EFFORT (about as much as you put into playing video games). A candle light dinner, a picnic under the stars, or a walk in the park are all romantic and affordable. For those who feel like money is no issue, sending flowers, preferably roses, to the school or workplace is a sure way to get a BIG reward by the end of the night.
Now Ladies in this day and age it's not just the guys who shoud put in the effort. With all the stress he is under and the pressure he goes through, your man deserves just as much as he gives. Try planning a romantic evening for you and your man, and BE CREATIVE. Cater to him, give him a massage or whatever you think would make him happy. Just doing the simple things can make all the difference. So don't look at Valentine's as just another day...MAKE THE MOST OF IT! Use it as an opportunity to be with the one you love and try new things. Be spontaneous! I promise you if you put in the time, you'll get every bit of it back...with a little interest;)

Heart2Heart

What's Really Good?

So I know I'm supposed to be giving the fellas some insight into the world of women, but some events in my own personal life have raised some questions that I have yet to figure out the answer to, which is very rare for me.

• Why do guys feel it is okay for them to do certain things, but when their woman does it they go bolistic? For example, some guys think it's all good to have close female friends while they are in a seriuos relationship. They even engage in some harmless flirting with their "friends", talk on the phone with them, and sometimes go out with them. This is all good, but I MEAN LET'S GET REAL! If your woman were in the same scenario how would you feel? No man alive can convince me that they would not be a little jealous, or maybe just suspicious (just like a woman would feel in that situation). It's pretty obvious that if you can't take it, then don't dish it out.
• What's up with the GUYS NIGHT OUT THING? Seriously, you would really rather spend hours playing video games and drinking with a dude, than doing ANYTHING, possibly EVERTHING;), with your girl. I get some guys may need breaks from their girl every now and then, but for those that have a little too much "guy time", especially when other men are just waiting to pick up your slack and your girl, your sexual interests may be questionable.

Heart2Heart

What Women Want

While it may seem like most women don't know what they want or that some of us want it all, which is usually true, a lot of us will be satisfied with just a select few qualities in a guy. Though this list may vary slightly depending on the woman you are dating, here are our five most common desires.

A GOOD man should be:

5) UNDERSTANDING- Most men will not always relate to our feelings or get why we do certain things. We will not always hold that against you as long as you accept the fact that we constantly have mood swings and change our minds for no apparent reason. IT'S JUST THE WAY WE ARE! You must also know how to communicate with your girl . Some of us are able to have an argument or disagreement with our man and then immediately talk it out to search for a logical solution. Others need some time to calm down before talking it out. (If this is your girl, don't try to force her to deal with the issue until she's ready or the situation will get a whole lot worse.) Because most women feel that they can do no wrong, even when they are the ones at fault, always be prepared to apologize or get the cold shoulder until she decides to forgive you. A good woman will admit her faults and accept your apology for doing wrong without giving you a hard time.

4) APPRECIATIVE- Every woman, especially those that are married, wants to feel like their man wants and needs them. This is why a lot of us go out of our way to please our men and sometimes put their needs before ours. If guys have ever wondered why their woman practically bent over backwards for them at the beginning of their relationship and now they can't get her to do anything for them, it's because she doesn't feel like you were grateful for her services before, so why would she continue to provide them? If your woman does as much for you as she does for herself then why not let her know that you appreciate it every once in a while? You could easily be one of those neglected boyfriends whose woman doesn't care if he's happy or not. Let her know how thankful you are with flowers or a card or maybe just a text message. Believe it or not IT DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

3) AFFECTIONATE- WARNING: DO NOT GO OVERBOARD. Everyone has heard the phrase "Less is More". Moderate affection is more than enough. Show your girl a little T.L.C from time to time by cuddling, holding hands, or just giving her a hug or a peck on the cheek. Although these actions may not seem significant, it makes all the difference to us women.

2) CONSIDERATE- There's nothing like a STRAIGHT man that actually cares about a woman's feelings and wants nothing more than to make her happy (don't confuse this with a "YES" man). If you really want to make your woman smile, DO THE LITTLE THINGS! Hold the door open, pull out her chair, and compliment her every once in a while. Most importantly, take notice of your woman's new looks. Though we may not admit it, we buy those new clothes and get that new hairstyle to get attention from our men. SO TAKE NOTICE! Point out her new hair cut or her new earrings. It may be a little old- fashioned, but it's sexy as hell.

1) HONEST- It's not that difficult to figure out that women require THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH when it comes to certain issues. It's possible that your woman may not always take the truth well, but keeping it 100 with her is a lot better than lying. As the saying goes, "The truth always prevails", and it's always better for her to discover it directly from you. Now notice I said tell the truth about "certain issues". If you truly know your woman, you've figured out the things that make her feel self-conscious about herself. For some women it's their height or weight, for others it's big ears or ugly feet. Whatever the case may be, never directly criticize your woman about her weakness even if she asks you to. For example, if your woman has some issues with her gut and she asks you if a certain shirt exposes that issue. Even though you know that the shirt barely covers her stomach and makes her look 5 months pregnant, PLEASE DON'T TELL HER THAT. Try expressing your dislike of the shirt in general, or maybe even suggest an alternative. Your goal is to build your woman up, not make her feel bad about her faults.

Don't get me wrong women expect so much more out of their men, just as men have expectations for women, but so many more attractive qualities stem from these characteristics. With consideration comes respect, with honesty comes trust, and with all these comes LOVE, which is what makes life worthwhile. Now no one is perfect and, even though it may seem like it sometimes, we don't expect you to be. But if you keep these 5 virtues in mind, your relationship will be a lot better off.