Social Relationships Are A Non-virtual Reality

Why does social media play such a major role in relationships today? Well I think rapper Yo Gotti explained it best in his song, "Down in the DM" when he said, "Snapchat me that..."(well you know the rest). Social media provides easy access. Not only do we need to worry about infidelity in person and via text, phone calls, email, etc, but we now have the luxury of social applications that make sliding in someone's direct messages and intervening in their lives, more specifically their relationships, as simple as ever. You do not even have to leave your bed to flirt anymore. Don't get me wrong, social media is not a bad thing, and it does not always have a negative effect on relationships. Ironically, my boyfriend and I met on Facebook (after he "accidentally" poked me). However, there should be boundaries. Like with any aspect of a relationship, the topic of social media do's and don'ts and what each of you is comfortable with should be discussed in detail until you can come to a compromise. That way everyone knows what to expect. After that, it is up to each individual to respect their significant other's boundaries in order to make them feel secure and allow them to fully trust. Sometimes this may mean removing yourselves from certain social media apps altogether. Consider whatever it takes to work out a reasonable solution. I emphasize "reasonable" because some people's issues are beyond social media. Some people just have trust issues, and no matter what you do they will have a problem with it. For instance, if they keep track of the number of followers you have, go through each of your likes and friend all of the females, hack your social media account and unfriend each female (including family members) or anything along those lines, then there may be a bigger issue. In that case, you may want to get to the root of the issue and reevaluate your relationship from there. Ultimately, if you are with someone who you truly care about and who you want to spend the rest of your life with, this should be a minor speed bump, but never be a deal breaker. At the end of the day, your goal should be to have a healthy, loving relationship, and I would take that over Facebook any day.

Heart2Heart

https://www.buzzfeed.com/kirstenking/watching-your-ex-fall-in-love-with-someone-else?utm_term=.vmLx12vWG#.dbNqGxz6l

Know Your Role

It's been a minute since my last post. Long story short, I'm in a relationship now (YAY me lol). Along with a new relationship comes constant communication with your boyfriend/girlfriend, aka learning one another and figuring out likes and dislikes. One thing I wanted to clarify with my boyfriend is his opinion on gender roles. I actually conversed with a few people on the topic. Surprisingly, people don't really adopt the old school idea that  men should be the sole bread winners and women are delagated to the home and children. Maybe it's our changing times, or maybe people or finally deciding to be realistic. A relationship should be a partnership. It makes much more sense to work with your partner and pick up the slack in whichever area they may be lacking. I believe that it takes two to be financially stable in this economy, AND it also takes two (possibly more) to properly raise our children and take care of our households. I have no problem cooking and cleaning, but I will also take out the trash or mow the lawn if need be. Luckily, my amazing boyfriend agrees that there is nothing wrong with a mam performing "domestic duties" (deemed so by traditional societies). My theory is that whoever is best at a task and enjoys doing it more should do it. If I prefer putting up a shelf more than cooking (which I do), then there is no reason I should be assigned to the latter just because it's more "womanly". Basically, a relationship's roles should be based on what works for the people in that relationship. Just remember to contribute something, be considerate and know your role. ✌🏽️

Heart2Heart

Look at me Now

So, it's a must that I address the misconception that good looking people make good boyfriends or girlfriends. There are times when I’ve told a guy I am single, and his reply is, “You look too good to be single”. I think to myself, “What does that have to do with anything?” The best looking people in the world still have insecurities, crazy habits, emotional issues, and countless other barriers that may cause a relationship with them to fail. You never know the extent of someone's situation just by looking at them. Many people say that the fine women are the crazy ones. I don’t know if I would take it that far, but I would suggest getting to know someone for who they are and not how they look because looks aren’t everything. It basically comes down to the age-old saying, Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Heart2Heart

Side Chick

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153256931719396

Too Little Too Late

Post by Kira Brandon.

Post by Kira Brandon.

Make It or Break It?

Getting back on the dating scene can be rough, especially if you've been off of the market for a while. We all know that no one you date is going to be perfect and have EVERYTHING you are looking for. I mean let's be real, it's hard to find that knight in shining armor these days. Since no one is perfect, how do you know where to draw the line? Do we settle as long as the person has/does the most important things? Is a man with a minimum wage job, a hooptie, and bad sex a complete turn off. I am not the type to settle, but I do believe in giving people chances to prove themselves. Everyone isn't where they want to be in life, and I (more than anyone) can understand that. I am willing to work with a guy as long as he is working on himself (a.k.a not content with his hooptie). Just keep in mind what you are getting yourself into. If you choose someone who isn't already established (based off of other appealing qualities), make sure you can be supportive rather than pointing out their shortcomings. Be their Wonder Woman and elevate them. If you have a good man, you both will benefit from this in the end. And don't let bad sex run you away; sex, like sports, may require practice, but with a good coach you can create an MVP.

Heart2Heart 

Situationships

So the new term when it comes to love and relationships is situationship. Urban Dictionary ultimately defines this word as "A relationship that has no label on it.. like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship."  This term, like its definition, seems to be a combination of confusion, denial, and just plain stupidity. Since when does any type of relationship deserve anything less than 100% loyalty, trust, honesty and commitment? If the parties involved can't agree to these circumstances, at least, then why have any type of relationship at all? It's true that labeling a relationship can sometimes be nerve-wrecking. I myself have questioned: "Am I ready?" "Is he ready?" "What will people think/say?" But at the end of the day if you can't publicly claim someone as either someone you are dating, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your wife/husband or whatever you are, then why waste their time or yours? I'm not saying you have to put all of your business out there, but be real with yourself and, most importantly, be honest and upfront with the other person.

Heart2Heart

*Video contains mild profanity.